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The sound of insomnia.
Posted 3 years, 1 month ago at 2:14 pm. 4 comments
Last night, after I dragged my seemingly exhausted body away from the computer and to bed I encountered a massive problem.
I lay there, my heavy eyelids firmly closed (I’m certain that if I’d tried to blink (or open them, for that matter) they would’ve greeted me with an irritating crunchy feeling and the unavoidable clicking noise that invariably accompanies the blasted crunch. Whoa, tangent.) but unfortunately, my foolish and predictably defiant brain rewarded me not with sleep, no siree, but with a looped Homer Simpson rendition of the fairly unpopular and even less relaxing “Spanish Flea”.
I tried my darndest to eradicate the damned song, but for a good five minutes (although it seemed forever) my brain gave me the equivalent of a childish wink and cheeky grin and continued doing as it pleased.
To my (temporary) relief and satisfaction, it decided to stop as suddenly as it began. Me, although being rather pleased with my newfound powers of +9 brain jukebox control, I was reluctant to test them. I mean, one slip and i’m likely to be unwittingly mentally tapdacing to tijuana taxi. I had to remove all traces of slightly addictive mexican music from my head, so I decided to have a listen to what I could actually hear. The first thing I noticed was the cat purring contentedly at my side, closely followed by the ticking of a couple of the clocks mum has here. To my disgust, the sounds of my precious baby purring and the comparitively sleep inducing ticking was replaced too soon by my second to last favourite sound- the sound of silence.
No, I’m not referring to some phat Simon and Garfunkel beats, I’m talking about the extremely irritating, variably pitched tone that somehow manages to weasel it’s snide, self-righteous way into my poor, undeserving head. It took a little while before i noticed it’s presence- you know how it is, right? It creeps up on you, like (a less fatal but easily as creepy) predator, from those totally kickass movies (<3 to you, predsy).
Half my brain fought furiously against the “sound” invasion that had begun. This was like War of the Worlds, but with an even less satisfying conclusion! I mean, was this merely a symptom of sleeping in a strange bed? Or, was it something more, like I’d finally gone insane? (finally realised it, according to some..:D)
Regardless, the other half of my brain sat there, humming along wildly, grinning like the cat who ate the cream, throwing in the occasional (and admittedly both slightly concerning and marginally entertaining) Zap! noise. Seriously. Zap. Like some kind of raygun.
To my suprise, the logical part of my brain (who shall be referred to as Team Awesome from this moment forth) came to my rescue. Eventually, the other half (Team Less Awesome) begrudgingly backed away, hissing angrily- only their watery eyes and tear stained cheeks betraying the otherwise well hidden disappointment they experienced collectively.
‘Wait!’ I hear you cry, ‘how did Team Awesome manage this tremendous feat? Also, you look fantastic in those jeans’
Aww, shucks. *blushes*
Back to business- it wasn’t as simple as it seems. For those of you unfortunate enough to have intimate knowledge of my brain (and frequently use it to annoy me *cough* Fatman fagel *cough*) I feel I have to make something clear. This is worse than bounce, worse than alice… hell, it’s worse than My Immortal. As you can now see, this was no pre 7pm walk through The Valley.. this was a battle. My brain waged an extraordinarily brief WW3 with itself, Team Awesome inching ahead only after I figured out the only thing that lodges itself in my brain more sturdily than bounce- decent trumpet music.
Luckily, with all the style and class I ooze (and 1337 foresight to actually bring my hdd with me, I had some amazing trumpet music on hand. So, after all this, I dragged myself *back* to the computer (complete with clicking and crunching from my baby blues) and with the assistance of team awesome and some of my talented pals, I managed to defeat the silent beast.
Of course, we all know what follows- how the carp do I get the trumpet music out? Is trumpet music supceptible to earth bacteria? *sigh* I hate my brain.
Edit: Please excuse the poor spelling and grammar. Mum’s keyboard sucks.
Soil- Obsession
Posted 3 years, 1 month ago at 2:15 am. 0 comments
Well, I didn’t realise the lyrics were so.. well.. obsessive, but it’s a good song anyway, so here. Lyrics for you all.
I’ll mimic everything you are to me
The way you walk, the way you talk
The way you breathe
Obsessions, Obsessing
Obsessing, Obsessions
Sing a song, sing your little song
Make it all make sense to me
Obsessing, Obsessions
Can’t you see you are what I want my life to be
Oh can’t you see you are me, can’t you
You are me, dear god please
I don’t wanna be everything that this god has planned for me
Can’t you see you are my everything
I can’t give everything this world will expect from me
You are my everything
Obsessions, Obsessing
Obsessing, Obsessions
When I’m through making me you
I’ll be the best you that I can be
Obsessions
Can’t you see how perfect you are to me
Can’t you see you are me, can’t you
See you walk like so
And you talk just like this
Could I be you if I, if I think like you
Can’t you see how much you mean to me
I’m not obsessing
Can’t you see how much I want your life for me
It’s not an obsession
I wanna be just like you
Can’t you see you are my everything
Can’t you see you are me, you are
Can’t you see how much you mean to me
Can’t you see you are me
Can’t you see you are my everything
Can’t you see you are me, you are
can’t you see how much I want your life for me
Can’t you see
Hi2u, hectic life.
Posted 3 years, 1 month ago at 11:21 pm. 1 comment
So, my life has been hectic, brief rundown as follows. Mum in hospital, brother in stabbage, me in extreme state of confusion and emoness, and I’ve been listening to pathogen. Woo.
ENFP
Posted 3 years, 1 month ago at 3:01 am. 5 comments
This one is my definite favourite.
Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow
ENFPs are initiators of change who are keenly perceptive of possibilities, and who energize and stimulate through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma.
Living
ENFP children are ‘into everything.’ Their natural curiosity results in children for whom questions were invented. They often spend long periods of time devising new and original — but not necessarily practical — languages, plays, and scenarios. Many ENFPs enjoy drawing, writing, playacting, and dreaming. They are often chosen as leaders because of their persuasive enthusiasm and their energy for new and different ways of developing things.
ENFP teenagers are agreeable, sociable, outgoing people who like to imagine themselves in the future. They spend many hours wondering and discussing with friends whom they will marry, where they will live, what their children will be like, and what work they will do. They leave no option or possibility unexplored and find it difficult to see themselves in any single job or career.
Because they see endless possibilities, to select one possibility appears to the ENFP to be too narrow a focus. They hate to be boxed into a career for life and therefore hesitate and resist making decisions. It is unwise for ENFPs to settle down too early, and they make the soundest choices when they delay career and marriage decisions until their middle to late twenties. Often when a decision is made, ENFPs will still leave a number of options open or change their minds as they encounter new information.
Even in their everyday activities, ENFPs often search for the new and the novel. If there is a logical route to work and ENFP has been driving that way continually, he or she will likely tire of it and look for other routes.
ENFPs are more likely than other types to change from one career to another, demonstrating their versatility in doing so. It is not uncommon to hear stories of ENFPs who have established themselves in a career and who, when faced with the daily routine of maintaining it, leave it to start another.
Adult ENFPs maintain characteristics that might be considered youthful, such as enthusiasm, curiosity, and a zestful outlook on life. As a result, people often enjoy being with them. Many times they are young-in-spirit as they age, perhaps because of their temperament.
ENFPs look forward to retirement as a time that can bring freedom from the restrictions of the work world and ample opportunity to pursue their varied interests. However, if ENFPs become disabled or experience a lack of resources, such as money, they may become despondent because this restricts their ability to quest after new experiences.
Learning
ENFPs often learn best through a variety of means, such as observing, reading, and listening to and interacting with others. They enjoy the search for new ideas and possibilities, and will put in the time necessary to master subjects they find interesting. One strength is their enthusiasm for the process of discovery. They enjoy survey courses, comparative studies, and disciplines in which there is much to research and explore. They do not like classes that are too structured, that consist only of lectures, and that allow no room for their imagination. They may get caught up in the learning process and consequently need strict deadlines to bring a project to completion.
ENFPs prefer a learning environment in which the teacher takes personal interest in them, in which there is an opportunity to talk about ideas with their peers, and in which there is a chance to ask questions and develop new ideas.
A motto that might describe the ENFP as a learner is “There’s always another way or another answer.”
Working
ENFPs often follow a nonlinear career track and nontraditional routes to obtaining knowledge, qualifications, and skills. When they are committed to what they do, they are enthusiastic to the point of preaching to the entire world about it. For an ENFP, work must be fun and must contribute to something larger than merely collecting a paycheck.
The preferred work setting for ENFPs contains imaginative people focused on human possibilities. ENFPs want a work environment that is both physically and mentally colorful. They prefer a participative and collegial atmosphere in which employees are included in the decision making. ENFPs are less productive where there is disharmony because they pay more attention to the relationships between people at work than they do to the tasks. Their ideal job would offer variety, novelty, challenge, and freedom from tight supervision; it would be idea oriented and imaginative, and would have lively, energetic people enjoying themselves and their tasks.
Most ENFPs will say they are organized, but others might not see them that way. Their desire to be open to the moment tends to outweigh their need to be organized. Usually ENFP work space is arranged haphazardly, with work materials and personal momentos scattered about. In terms of the management of time, ENFPs find it particularly difficult to estimate accurately how long an activity will take. Because people’s needs are more important than schedules, ENFPs are often late and characteristically full of apologies for their tardiness.
ENFPs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others. They tend to be attracted to occupations with a service orientation. ENFPs usually find a place in their work life for creativity. They particularly enjoy people-oriented work in which they are able to combine things in new and different ways to benefit humanity. Flexibility and autonomy are important to ENFPs, who may bolt from organizations in which this is not attainable.
Common occupations picked by ENFPs include artist, clergy, consultant, counselor, entertainer, journalist, public relations worker, social scientist, social worker, teacher, and other occupations that allow ENFPs to use their creativity and insight.
Leading
ENFPs are energetic and enthusiastic leaders who are likely to take charge when a new endeavor needs a visionary spokesperson. ENFPs are values-oriented people who become champions of causes and services relating to human needs and dreams. Their leadership style is one of soliciting and recognizing others’ contributions and of evaluating the personal needs of their followers. ENFPs are often charismatic leaders who are able to help people see the possibilities beyond themselves and their current realities. They function as catalysts.
Leisure
ENFPs often have a difficult time separating their work from their leisure. Because they like to have fun while they work and usually arrange their work lives to meet this need, the boundaries between their work and their leisure may not be as clear as they might be for some other types.
Because of their continual search for new things to experience, it is rare for ENFPs to become heavily involved in a single activity; their appetite for involvement is too great. Generally, ENFPs are on the lookout for new things and may come across what is “trendy” before others. They tend to participate early on in those new activities.
ENFPs like travel and reading because these activities open experiences of other times and places. Their reading often brings quiet and reflection time, as well as new material for their dreams. Their travels afford them opportunities to experience different people and cultures.
Some ENFPs may invite others to join them at plays, films, or in classes. Some enjoy physical activities in which they are able to challenge themselves, release their energy, and maintain their physical fitness.
Loving
For ENFPs, loving is an almost constant state. They are generally involved or in love with someone or something new. ENFPs may have originated the quotation “All the world loves a lover.” When falling in love, they explore all the new possibilities in the relationship, and the new person is studied in every way. The ENFP tends to idealize his or her current relationship and will often say that their current one is “the best ever.”
It might be argued that each type, when first in love, resembles a garden-variety ENFP, because ENFPs normally behave like people in love. Some of the cultural cliches about falling in love - such as “Falling in love with love,” “Head over heels in love,” “Love is blind,” “All the world loves a lover,” and “Throw caution to the wind” - seem to apply to the ENFP. This same boundless affection can be showered upon friends, co-workers, and others. People often feel unconditionally loved by ENFPs, but over time many of these relationships dissipate, as in “When I’m not near the ones I love, I love the ones I’m near.”
ENFPs are delightful, enthusiastic partners who are young in spirit; there is rarely a dull moment with them. They readily note their partner’s best aspects. They may overlook obvious details and facts about their partners that might cause other types to be more cautious. As relationships progress, ENFPs romanticise their partners and make strong efforts to rationalize any discrepancy between the reality and their “ideal.”
When they are in love, they may either overcommit and ignore any unpleasant yet true facts; or they may undercommit, believing that there may be a better love “just around the corner.” Therefore, ENFPs may be seen as fickle in their relationships as they search for the “right one.”
When and if the flaws in the relationship become too obvious to ENFPs, they may admit defeat, feeling great pain because they have put so much energy into perfecting a particular relationship. When ENFPs are scorned, they overgeneralize about their partners’ worst faults. Because ENFPs thrive on new possibilities, when they fall out of love, they rebound quickly.
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Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
by Marina Margaret Heiss
Profile: ENFP
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 25 Feb 2005
[The following comes partially from the archetype, but mostly from my own dealings with ENFPs.]
General: ENFPs are both “idea”-people and “people”-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of “help”) and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.
Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they’re a wonderful and fascinating person.
ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they’ve been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.
ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.
Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
by Joe Butt
ENFPs are friendly folks. Most are really enjoyable people. Some of the most soft-hearted people are ENFPs.
ENFPs have what some call a “silly switch.” They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the “switch” is flipped.
One study has shown that ENFPs are significantly overrepresented in psychodrama. Most have a natural propensity for role-playing and acting.
ENFPs like to tell funny stories, especially about their friends. This penchant may be why many are attracted to journalism. I kid one of my ENFP friends that if I want the sixth fleet to know something, I’ll just tell him.
ENFPs are global learners. Close enough is satisfactory to the ENFP, which may unnerve more precise thinking types, especially with such things as piano practice (”three quarter notes or four … what’s the difference?”) Amazingly, some ENFPs are adept at exacting disciplines such as mathematics.
Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone , especially on a regular basis.
One ENFP colleague, a social worker, had such tremendous interpersonal skills that she put her interviewers at ease during her own job interview. She had the ability to make strangers feel like old friends.
ENFPs sometimes can be blindsided by their secondary Feeling function. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.
Functional Analysis:
Extraverted iNtuition
The physical world, both geos and kosmos, is the ENFP’s primary source of information. Rather than sensing things as they are, dominant intuition is sensitive to things as they might be. These extraverted intuitives are most adept with patterns and connections. Their natural inclination is toward relationships, especially among people or living things.
Intuition leans heavily on feeling for meaning and focus. Its best patterns reflect the interesting points of people, giving rise to caricatures of manner, speech and expression.
Introverted Feeling
Auxiliary feeling is nonverbally implied more often than it is openly expressed. When expressed, this logic has an aura of romance and purity that may seem out of place in this flawed, imperfect world. In its own defense, feeling judgement frequently and fleetly gives way to humor. ENFPs who publicize their feelings too often may put off some of the crowd of friends they naturally attract.
Extraverted Thinking
Thinking, the process which runs to impersonal conclusions, holds the extraverted tertiary position. Used on an occasional basis, ENFPs may benefit greatly from this ability. Less mature and lacking the polish of higher order functions, Thinking is not well suited to be used as a prominent function. As with other FP types, the ENFP unwary of Thinking’s limitations may find themselves most positively mistaken.
Introverted Sensing
Sensing, the least discernible ENFP function, resides in the inner world where reality is reduced to symbols and icons–ideas representing essences of external realities. Under the influence of the ever-present intuition, the ENFP’s sensory perceptions are in danger of being replaced by hypothetical data consistent with pattern and paradigm. When it is protected and nourished, introverted sensing provides information about the fixed. From such firm anchoring ENFPs are best equipped to launch into thousands of plausibilities and curiosities yet to be imagined.
Perhaps the combination of introverted Feeling and childlike introverted Sensing is responsible for the silent pull of ENFPs to the wishes of parents, authority figures and friends. Or perhaps it’s the predominance of indecisive intuition in combination with the ambiguity of secondary Fi and tertiary Te that induces these kind souls to capitulate even life-affecting decisions. Whatever the dynamic, ENFPs are strongly influenced by the opinions of their friends.
Famous ENFPs:
Franz Joseph Haydn
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
Will Rogers
Buster Keaton
Theodor “Dr.” Seuss Geisel (The Cat in the Hat)
Mickey Rooney
James Dobson (”Focus on the Family”)
Andy Rooney
Carol Burnett
Paul Harvey
Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched)
Bill Cosby (Ghost Dad)
Dom Delouise, actor
Dave Thomas, owner of Wendy’s hamburger chain
Lewis Grizzard, newspaper columnist
I. King Jordan, president of Gallaudet University
Martin Short, actor-comedian
Meg Ryan, actor (When Harry Met Sally)
Robin Williams, actor, comedian (Dead Poet’s Society, Mrs. Doubtfire)
Sandra Bullock, actor (Speed, While You Were Sleeping)
Robert Downey (Heart and Souls)
Alicia Silverstone (Clueless)
Sinbad
Andy Kaufman
Regis Philbin
Fictional:
Dr. Doug Ross (ER)
Balkie (Perfect Strangers)
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Steve Irkle