Posted 2 years, 11 months ago at 4:41 pm. 0 comments
I just finished listening to Spectrum, and I just have to say, it’s adorably dodgy. Not as good as celebration, but it still gets me right where it should.
Anyway, on with the show. When Essie and I were in grade 10, Tammy and Sarah sang “In His Eyes”. We liked it, and decided to sing it in grade 12. Essie, if you’re reading this, I sung along with the CD and got the part right I always used to stuff up. Anyway, here’s some lyrics for ya’ll.
Posted 2 years, 11 months ago at 4:36 pm. 4 comments
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds
[Solo: Corey]
Wish I’d died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries
And you don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I’ll never live down my deceit
Posted 2 years, 11 months ago at 9:44 am. 2 comments
I always enjoyed the perpetuation of a stereotype. Something to do with the satisfaction of knowing that most people can be slotted into an easily handled category to be stored away for future reference. This applies especially to one of the most negative stereotypes I know of- one I developed and constantly confirmed during my time in highschool. Luckily for me, yesterday was a day of much perpetuation.
Nearly everyone who knows me fairly well is aware of my dislike for having to catch trains. Aside from the extra few moments of sleep or think time, and watching strangers, I don’t really have a lot of love for the things. So, there I was, curled up on the seat (cute as a button, I tells ya), after making myself as comfortable as I could manage, trying to catch as many precious moments of sleep as possible. To my amusement, surprising almost-astonishment and slight disgust, a couple of people that had gotten at the previous station had pulled a couple of disfigured plastic bottles and a can of generic spraypaint from their ratty knapsack and started chroming in the middle of the fairly-full train.
Along with most of my peers, I looked on in curiousity, and I have to say, it was hard to look away. Looking back I think my disgust can be mostly attributed to the lack of response from everyone else on the train. Me being me, I jumped p at the next station, mentioned it to the train guard in passing as I moved onto the next carriage. I tried to tell myself I did it because I thought it was wrong, and I was taking a stand against the dregs of society- It’s not though, I guess I’m just a narc. That, and I take strange enjoyment in seeing my ‘inferiors’ sitting at a train station, looking at the train hopelessly as it pulls away frm the station. Unfortunately, that’s also when the pity kicks in.
Sure, these two were grubby, smelly, yelling and chroming on the train with a baby in close proximity, but… yeah. There’s no but. These people need to be re-educated, rehabilitated and then reintroduced into society when they’re functional and stable human beins. If they want to chrome and act like idiots while i’m trying to get some shuteye, they can find a dodgy park like the rest of them and pass out there.
I had a lot more to say, and on a few different subjects, but it’ll have to wait until later. I have to get ready for work.
Posted 2 years, 11 months ago at 9:53 am. 0 comments
Therapy helped, but it’s the equivalent of breaking a leg- you can walk when you get out of physical therapy but you can’t run a marathon right away. I can function as a human being right now, and even have friends, but I’m not ready for a relationship. The sad truth is that no matter how much you love someone, how much you trust them, there’s no way for you to know for sure they won’t decide to remove themselves from your life someday.
<3
