It’s been a while.

Posted 1 year, 7 months ago at 1:31 am. 3 comments

Yeah, so, I suck at blogging. Apologies and things.

Up until moments ago, I haven’t really felt like writing much recently. Luckily for me, an inconspicuous yellow notebook and red pen were easy enough to procure - but the writing was hideous. I’m talking god-awful, cut my eyeballs out and smear them on the page kind of terrible. Honestly, I’ve never been so disappointed by a display of my own thoughts and feelings. And I just went to spell “thoughts” with an a. Yes. “Thaughts”. So, I figure I’m undergoing the inevitable process of dumbening (Wait a minute, dumbening isn’t a word!?) and I can’t really say I’m enjoying it much. I always figured the Atkinson gene just sent the males crazy and left the females unharmed. Apparently it makes us lazy, indecisive and unintelligent. Who would’ve thought.

As I was saying - the writing, both online and in any physical form, seems to have come to a halt. Until about 7 minutes ago, I haven’t felt like writing a word. It isn’t as though my life has become any less interesting. Infact, it has been quite the opposite. Perhaps that’s where the problem lies. In any case, the chinks in my armor are becoming more and more evident, and I’m feeling like the uneducated idiot I am.

It’s not just the education thing that’s bothering me. The indecisive thing is causing a bit of discomfort, and I’m not enjoying it. I’m happy to sit here and say “I can’t make a deciiiiiiision” - but that isn’t the root of the problem. I’m pretty sure I know what I should be doing in relation to the problems that I’m feeling indecisive about, and I’m not taking action because I’m a nervy twit who needs to man up and take some responsibility for my actions. Sure, manning up would be a little trans-sexual of me, but I feel it’s a necessary evil. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, damnit.

That, and the lovely Paula took the time to point out that, quite obviously, I only have one life. And I’m nearly 20, damnit. NEARLY 20. NO LONGER A DAMN TEENAGER. Time to, y’know, stop fumbling around like an awkward schoolgirl and put on the grownup pants. Time for home loans and those annoying little wrinkles that women are always complaining about. Nearly time for liverspots and tracksuit pants and one of those really really ugly dogs.

Also. NIN. WOOO.