Whoaa.

Posted 1 year, 4 months ago at 5:35 pm. 7 comments

Well, it’s been a while.  It has been too long.  Far, far too long - which is weird, because i have no lack of interesting and hopefully entertaining things to share.

I’ve been a busy little miss, so I’ll try and pack as much as I can into this post.  I’ll break it up into pats though, for ease of reading:

#1 - The Employment Situation

#2 - The Drunken Shennanigans

#3 - The OCAU Meet

#4 - The Health Stuff

and finally,

#5 - The probably drunken rant that won’t make a lick of sense to anyone but me.

So.  Here we go.

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#1 - The Employment Situation
Quite recently, I was made redundant.  The giant corporation that I’ve called home for my entire grown-up life decided to close up shop in Brisbane and move our valuable jobs elsewhere.  I’m not entirely sure why I didn’t post about it earlier - the shame of retrentchment perhaps, or maybe i didn’t wan tto believe it was actually happening - in any case… I found a new job.

I should really start from the beginning.

I was thinking a littl while back that my life finally felt.. well, things kind of fell into place.  Everything was working, and things were starting to feel strangely complete.  I had a good routine, I was being healthy and happy and exercising lots.  Infact, I’d just started walking to the train station to get to work instead of driving - and then as easily as I felt great, I felt awful again.

I knew something was up the minute I arrived at work.  Excuse me while I take creative licence here.  The tension on the floor was practically visible - the team leaders were skittering around nervously, and our general manager had taken up residence in one of the meeting rooms.  His usually cheerful disposition had been modified somewhat - a forced smile upon making eye contact with staff was team with an unusually stern half-grimace, reserved for when he thought noone was observing.

Eventually, after much speculation abotu the legal and HR representatives that had set up camp in our midst, we were herded into a conference room and greeted by the anxious eyes of our newly appointed centre manager.  Things didn’t look great.

I was optimistic.  They’d been hiring staff like wildfire so I”d quite wrongly assumed that my position would be exempt from whatever was coming.  So, as I giggled and messed about with Sammy and Chris, I didn’t really take in the seriousness of the situation.  Once we were all settled, our fearless leader - armed with little more than a bowl of lollies, strategically placed boxes of inexpensive tissues and a power point presentation filled with propaganda (you know, the company’s future and their vision) - told us we were all out of a job.

You know when they say “It knocked the wind out of my sails” ?  That’s.. pretty much exactly how I felt.  I’d never really felt that way before - not like that  I’d felt the boy related wind from sail theft, but it felt different this time.  I was gobsmacked, and after taking a few minutes to process the information, I came to the realisation that I felt completely, utterly, betreayed.  That’s when the tears came.

See, the thing is, I’d started to feel loyal to the company.  Whenever we - they - were bagged in the media?  I’d stand up for them.  Whenever the G9 business was being discussed?  I’d support the company entirely.  Customers bagging us out over the phone?  My sense of pride and loyalty would step in and I’d throw up a strangely truthful defence.

And what’d they do?  They FUCKED me.  They fucked us - and it hurt.  I was hurt.  So.. we did what we do when we’re hurt.  We got drunk.  I got drunk.

I can say, with absolute certainty, that i’ve never been drunk like that before.  Not ever.  Thanks to Haydn and his double shots of Chartreuse, my actions included but were in no way limited to the following:-

- Lecturing the General Manager of Service Advantage about the job cuts.

- Somehow spending 30 minutes in the bathroom with Kelly

- Got huggy and cheek-kissy with my colleagues

- Laid down on the floor inside a pub

- Laid down in the rain on the freezing cement outside a pub

- Passed out with my head in the gutter in the rain, which Sammy unceremoniously dubbed ‘the drowning’.

- Got dropped off at home by a team leader after being poured into a cab by my colleagues

- Vomiting EVERYWHERE.  Inside, outside, into things, outside of things, all over things (I think you get the point), everywhere everywhere everywhere.

By my standards, it was a fucking huge night - and it was all over and done with by 10:30.  I had an entire pig for breakfast the next day though so in the end it worked out pretty much okay.

Here’s the bad news - I’m going to miss everyone at work like crazy

Here’s the good news - I found an awesome job.  I’m going to be a CSO for the Department of Justice - In the Batman Building!  More on that when I learn more about it.

And more later.  My room is a pigsty and I want to make it pretty.